Obsessive refreshing Tesco, Asda etc etc supermarket webpages for delivery slots during the darkest sleepless midnight hours has become a national essential activity.
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Not unprecedented!
Post virus lockdown the time is fast approaching for an invasion by neighbouring flocks of sheeple galloping away from their pens and descending like locusts consuming the green green grass of home pastures and fields.This has been encouraged by no less than the Prime Shepherd himself.
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A letter from the Prime Shepherd
I, and all other bellwethers (apparently), have received the following dictated letter from The Highest Authority in the land (dictated from his bedside) to be amended according to region. This order applies to all flocks in the land. Basically you, the sheeple, must obey the instructions or the dogs will be set loose. [Note to editors: F n’ M means foot and mouth virus]
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The Bellwether Manifesto
As your Leader, it is time to publish the political manifesto of the Bellwether Party for the upcoming UK 2019 General Election. In this manifesto, you will find policies that you will (must) like, that you will (must) believe in!
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BREXIT dinner Party
Back in December I wrote an article titled Christmas dinner party bemoaning the fact that I had never been to or been invited to a ‘dinner party’. According to newspapers like the Guardian, political pundits like Alastair Campbell and the television media, ‘dinner parties’ are supposed to be where ‘the people’ (discuss? rage?) talk about BREXIT.
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Flock infiltrated by #ERG
As the ‘official’ appointed bellwether, I am here to warn you that I have detected the formation of a dissident breakaway group within the Flock that needs to be ‘purged’ before AD (Abattoir Day). Calling themselves the Ewe Research Group (ERG) and led by a well known ‘coloured’ member of the arch-conservative Reesmog Flock who have infiltrated our members.
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