coronavirus Archives - BlackSwanistan

Scientific evidence for arse covering extremis

As your bellwether (and expert!) I suppose it falls on me to comment on the ‘scientific advice‘ that supposedly underlies the political (mis)management of the current pandemic of Covid-19 afflicting some unfortunate sections of the human population (the old, already sick, the obese, and those of non-white race).

Clap Clap

It has come to my notice and I note with grave displeasue that some of you have been seen on Thursday evenings at the gates of your pens clapping the farmer and his veterinary assistant as they were passing with their dogs.

Not unprecedented!

Post virus lockdown the time is fast approaching for an invasion by neighbouring flocks of sheeple galloping away from their pens and descending like locusts consuming the green green grass of home pastures and fields.This has been encouraged by no less than the Prime Shepherd himself.

A letter from the Prime Shepherd

I, and all other bellwethers (apparently), have received the following dictated letter from The Highest Authority in the land (dictated from his bedside) to be amended according to region. This order applies to all flocks in the land. Basically you, the sheeple, must obey the instructions or the dogs will be set loose. [Note to editors: F n’ M means foot and mouth virus]

Covid-19: The Practice Run

They don’t make facemasks for cattle so I have ‘self-isolated’ myself in this remote barn in rural Wales. I communicate with my flock using videoconferencing and blogging on the EYE. I still have memories of the 2001 foot and mouth pandemic (not sure how I survived that one!). Humans are so lucky, in a pandemic they don’t all get killed en masse and burned in large smouldering heaps like us poor creatures (yes, yes, there have been Holocausts, I know). God’s creatures too, you know.

Coronavirus. Bring out your dead!

Pandemics are NOT funny! They are devastating. They wipeout whole populations. The Black Death, measles, syphilis, flu, SARS, ebola and now coronavirus. You have been warned. So how can we survive or be protected? The short answer is you can’t.