Dearly beloved Sheeple.
As the ‘official‘ appointed bellwether, I am here to warn you that I have detected the formation of a dissident breakaway group within the Flock that needs to be ‘purged’ before AD (Abattoir Day). Calling themselves the Ewe Research Group (ERG) and led by a well known ‘coloured’ member of the arch-conservative Reesmog Flock who have infiltrated our members.
This is not tolerable! Anti sheepism, in any form, must be expunged from the flock.
This is potentially worse than the FM (foul mouth) epidemic that decimated the sheeple economy in 2008. Disaster looms!
I have here a copy of their secret manifesto smuggled to me by a brave ewe called Daisy.
Main aims of the ERG
- Leave the main flock at once without a Deal.
- Negotiate deals with abbatoirs outside the European Union.
- Offshore Investments for wool and meat futures.
- Ban all immigration of foreign flocks.
- Hereditary Monarchy for a member of the Reesmog flock.
- Presidential Pardon for one Fox (only) for services rendered.
- Social Baaa-ing to be banned.
- Worship of the Sheep Papacy.
- Takeover of the OHS (Ovine Health Service) by American predatory wolf asset strippers.
Sheeple! We must take action! We must graze bare the lawns of College Green outside Westminster Parliament before the Ides of March 29th!