Castle Lockdowngate

Dearly beloved Sheeple

Prime ShepherdIt has come to my attention that a senior bellwether (from another flock) escaped recently from his lockdown pen along with his favourite primary ewe and a baby lamb.

He was photographed by paparazzi weasels munching on bluebells in the grounds of Barnard Castle, a local beauty spot. He now claims that he had (and still has) the tacit approval from the Prime Shepherd and that he thought (after extensive research on Google) that bluebells were a cure for the current virus from which they were suffering. He claims that at no time did he mingle with other flocks or herds in spite of the long trek (260+miles allegedly) to get there. GPS Monitoring and surveilance of his electronic eartag by the ferret police have confirmed that he even made more short trips in search of bluebells and, bizarrely, to test his eyesight!

Expert Opinion

Our expert scientists tell me that neither bluebells nor daffodils (another spring flowering bulb) are cures for viral disease. Daffodils and snowdrops do, however, contain various pharmacologically active compounds (galantamines) that could be used for Alzheimers but no antivirals as yet. It’s unknown whether you can get high on galantamines!

Uproar

Of course, there has been an uproar in the meerkat gutterpress and calls for him to be sent to the abbatoir along with his ewe and baby lamb as they are no longer fit for human consumption. This would be a tragic mistake and we would never know what secret kompromat he holds over the Prime Shepherd.

Rose Garden

He was recently spotted grazing in the Prime Shephard’s Rose Garden giving credence to the claim that he still has the full support of the Prime Shepherd. Of course, since he is a fellow member of the Honourable Guild of Bellwethers and wearer of the Honorary Bell, which dates back to the times of the Templar Knights, I have to take his word as Gospel.

Move along, nothing to see here.

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