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Slots

Obsessive refreshing Tesco, Asda etc etc supermarket webpages for delivery slots during the darkest sleepless midnight hours has become a national essential activity.

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Not unprecedented!

Post virus lockdown the time is fast approaching for an invasion by neighbouring flocks of sheeple galloping away from their pens and descending like locusts consuming the green green grass of home pastures and fields.This has been encouraged by no less than the Prime Shepherd himself.

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Prime Shepherd

A letter from the Prime Shepherd

I, and all other bellwethers (apparently), have received the following dictated letter from The Highest Authority¬†in the land (dictated from his bedside) to be amended according to region. This order applies to all flocks in the land. Basically you, the sheeple, must obey the instructions or the dogs will be set loose. [Note to editors: F n’ M means foot and mouth virus]

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PULP BREXIT ELECTION

Dearly Beloved Sheeple “T’was a dark and stormy night, and the captain said to the mate “T’was a dark and stormy night…” ad infinitum. So now we have a dark wintery date for the UK BREXIT election. Dearest Sheeple, you will be asking me, your bellwether, who to vote for. What will be my advice, […]

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Flock infiltrated by #ERG

As the ‘official’ appointed bellwether, I am here to warn you that I have detected the formation of a dissident breakaway group within the Flock that needs to be ‘purged’ before AD (Abattoir Day). Calling themselves the Ewe Research Group (ERG) and led by a well known ‘coloured’ member of the arch-conservative Reesmog Flock who have infiltrated our members.

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