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What else should we be worried about?

Dearly beloved Sheeple My sermon today is about threats. Yes, threats to our existance or to use the latest buzz phrase ‘existential threats‘. Anyone who thinks the coronavirus pandemic came as a complete surprise to the UK should read the National Risk Register. This little-known Cabinet Office document is a catalogue of everyone’s worst nightmares including […]

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Clap Clap

It has come to my notice and I note with grave displeasue that some of you have been seen on Thursday evenings at the gates of your pens clapping the farmer and his veterinary assistant as they were passing with their dogs.

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Quack Quack

In looking up the definition, the term Quack, in the sense of a medical impostor, is a shortening of the old Dutch quacksalver (spelled kwakzalver in the modern Dutch), which originally meant a person who cures with home remedies, and then came to mean one using false cures or knowledge.

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Not unprecedented!

Post virus lockdown the time is fast approaching for an invasion by neighbouring flocks of sheeple galloping away from their pens and descending like locusts consuming the green green grass of home pastures and fields.This has been encouraged by no less than the Prime Shepherd himself.

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Prime Shepherd

A letter from the Prime Shepherd

I, and all other bellwethers (apparently), have received the following dictated letter from The Highest Authority in the land (dictated from his bedside) to be amended according to region. This order applies to all flocks in the land. Basically you, the sheeple, must obey the instructions or the dogs will be set loose. [Note to editors: F n’ M means foot and mouth virus]

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Covid-19: The Practice Run

They don’t make facemasks for cattle so I have ‘self-isolated’ myself in this remote barn in rural Wales. I communicate with my flock using videoconferencing and blogging on the EYE. I still have memories of the 2001 foot and mouth pandemic (not sure how I survived that one!). Humans are so lucky, in a pandemic they don’t all get killed en masse and burned in large smouldering heaps like us poor creatures (yes, yes, there have been Holocausts, I know). God’s creatures too, you know.

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